We don’t have a flirty rapport or anything like that, just a mostly staid and mutually respectful friendship. I have a longtime close male friend whom I guess I’ve always been attracted to, with perhaps occasional flickers of mutual sexual tension, but nothing’s ever happened between us-I met him back when my relationship was closed, then he was in a long-term relationship, yadda yadda. I think that could be a disservice to the guys servicing you, as well as you. And while I think that everyone should be doing a little more thinking than they already are, especially about sex, given your rather (no offense) rudimentary question, I don’t want to bog you down with concepts that could freak you out or otherwise interfere with your enjoyment. In response to your query, I am inclined to wax philosophical about the spectrum of sexuality and the pros and cons of declaring an attendant identity. Was the head so good that it made you (I mean your friend) gay? If a straight man receives oral from a trans or gay man does that make the straight man gay? Asking for … a friend. Send your questions for Stoya and Rich to. How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. My Friend and I Made a Terrible Decision Last Night.
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